Sunday, January 25, 2009

I'll give you this confession...I get the feeling we're so misdirected

Sometimes I joke that I carry a curse. I used to be the girl right before "the one." Literally every guy I even went on a single date with, ended up marrying the next girl he dated. It was quite remarkable.

Lately I have joked that I carry a very different curse. A curse that forces anyone close to me to suffer an incredibly difficult break up. Now, this is not completely true because a few of my friends and family members are currently involved in very successful relationships, but I can't help but notice a disproportionate amount of the opposite in my life.

There are certain things you can only learn in relationships by experiencing them, and there are some things that you can learn by the experiences of others.

I was talking to a friend of mine about her dysfunctional quasi-relationship and she told me that she just wanted to protect her heart from being shredded into pieces . I can relate because no one wants to subject themselves to that.

But I remembered a simple rule of love. When you choose to love someone, you give them the opportunity to love you like you have never been loved before, and the opportunity to hurt you like you have never been hurt before. But these two things are unconditionally intertwined.

You cannot allow someone to love you, without also allowing the possibility to be hurt. For many people surrendering this control is difficult, and for many type-A personalities it is near impossible, but it is a prerequisite for love.

When the person you choose to love hurts you like you have never been hurt before, it is your personal CHOICE to take away both keys.

I emphasize choice, because we choose to perpetuate the relationship, which results in healing love or further pain.

What I find remarkable are the people who have been hurt in the past and seem capable enough of once again surrendering themselves to another person.

For me, it took a VERY long time to release the bitterness and to be open to love again. But it is the experiences of the past that have made my life so beautiful, and that taught me lessons for the future.

I do not claim to know it all or to even be right in this instance, but to my dear friends who are confused and suffering, I wish you only happiness and I know that you will find it. Make the decision that is going to yield your genuine happiness, and I don't think you can be happy and bitter at the same time. Forgiveness is healing.

Thursday, January 22, 2009

Non-Roster Invitees

With Spring Training around the corner, many teams have released their non-roster invitees to the Big League Camp.

Everyone listed on the 40-man roster goes to the Big League Camp, along with a number of prospects that have a shot of a call up during the 2009 season.

A lot of catchers are always invited, for the Angels I have seen most of the catchers and I am most impressed (on the non-roster side) with Ben Johnson. They call him BJ. His hard work ethic is evident and he has a silent demeanor about him. I enjoyed his humility, which is rare for a professional athlete.

Angel de los Santos is supposed to be a guy to keep an eye on. I've heard good thing but I haven't seen him yet. I imagine that he will be up to triple-A this season.

As far as pitchers are concerned, I'm pretty suprised that Matt Wilhite was invited. He had a rough season last year. His side-arm style makes him unique, but I didn't see it as super effective.

Pav is up for the Big League Camp this year. He had an amazing year this past season so I'm glad he'll get a look.

Brad Coon is going up for and so is Peter Bourjos for the outfielders. Bourjos was called up to triple-A at the end of last year but I never saw him take a cut outside of BP. He had 50 stolen bases at single-A Rancho Cucamonga. Baseball America named him the Angels top position playing prospect.

Jordan Walden will be up at the Big League Camp this year. At 6'5 and 220 he is a big guy, and can do some real damage. I've heard scouts talk about them and most are pretty excited to see him progress, but nothing compared to the way they talk about other pitching prospects.

Walden's young though, so we'll see what happens.


There are a few things that I am really excited for right now.

1. I am so excited for Spring Training. Pitchers and catchers report on Feb. 14/15!!! I am so ready for baseball to begin.

2. Prospects. After spending some time working in the minors I have really loved watching young prospects make a name for themselves. Some prospects that I am really excited for are Kevin Jepsen, Dexter Fowler, Nick Adenhart and Matt LaPorta. There are so many more but I can't wait to see their major league career bloom.

3. Not having homework!

4. Planning trips. (Shout out to Jenny on that one)

5. Making things happen.

Wednesday, January 21, 2009

Growing Up

So it turns out that growing up is not very fun.

All of these grown up things keep happening in my life and I'm freaking out a little bit.

If I could just put it off for a little bit I would love that!!

Tuesday, January 6, 2009

Graduating College in Poor Economic Conditions

Well, let's not kid ourselves here. The title pretty much speaks for itself.

Even the comfortable job I knew I could fall back on is not rocking back and forth slowly.

I love the accomplishment of graduating college, it's just that I thought a degree would bring me security, and right now every grain of security is slipping away from my fingertips.


Well at lease I can count on the recession ending, eventually... right?